Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sexiest Men and Beaujolais Nouveau

Disclaimer: I don't read or buy PM but I do read Dlisted which is a really mean and funny blog and that's where I got the info. But because it makes me feel intellectually insecure knowing anything about 99% of celebrities, I'd like to point out I am currently reading a book about Guy Fawkes and the Gun Powder Plot to make my smart person bona fides. Thanks.

People Magazine put out their annual list of the sexiest men. All the usual bland, overexposed, non-threatening in a feminine sort of way, suspects.

Johnny Depp-I guess I can sign off on him but the pic they used makes him look like an aging lesbian.
Robert Pattinson-looks like he smells so I wouldn't fuck him with any of your hootie hoos if the Detroit Lions were behind me pushing.
Ryan Reynolds-eyes are too close together making him vaguely short bus looking.
A bunch of other people I couldn't really give a shit about.

Now let me give you my list of who I'd do hot and dirty.

Vladimir Putin-First of all, I like blondes. Secondly he was the head of the KGB. He has ways of making you talk which obviously translates into knowing ways to make you scream. He looks dangerous, is he going to kiss you or kill you? Honestly, what's hotter than that?

Morrissey-Last week at this time I didn't even know who he was and now he's #2 on my hot piece of sexy list. Hot when he was young and in The Smiths, hotter now that he's older and solo. He looks more masculine now. If you don't belive me youtube him singing Jack the Ripper live. Swoooon! And he loves Oscar Wilde. Standing in front of Oscar Wilde's grave in Paris genuflecting is as close as I am able to have to a religious experience so it seems important.

Alan Rickman-If you know who this is at all, you know his as Professor Snape. But back in the day he played Valmont from Dangerous Liasons on Broadway, one of the sexiest male characters in literature. And HIS VOICE! Ooooh, like melted chocolate.

Daniel Craig-Undeniably hot as James Bond, outside of that role, not as hot. And with that god awful mustache he has for the play he's doing I have to amend this to Daniel Craig as James Bond and not really DC as DG.

Bryan and I have an agreement. Should the opportunity to have sex with anyone on this list present itself, it's my obligation to do so and in no way will it be considered cheating. He has a list too but it's shorter. Just Phoebe Cates and Maggie Gylennhal who I think is fug but he loved her in Secretary.

So that's my list. Who's on yours'?

The Beaujolais Nouveau 2009's are out. This is my favorite day of November. BN aren't really complex and not dry enough for my usual taste but I like the notion of it. The eagerly anticipated world wide event sort of feel to it. And it's super cheap, like $9 a bottle. Chateau Margeux it's not but for $9 if you don't like it you can pour it down the sink.

Happy drinking!

1 comment:

  1. Love the notion of Beaujolais Nouveau too. And after two glasses, you don't really notice anyway ;)

    Hmmm...really need to check out this aging lesbian photo. Did you read about him being cast opposite Angelina? (I swear, I only saw last week's US Weekly on my boss' desk...) That could be interesting.